I'm eating old Halloween candy in dirty pajamas...
So I've been feeling down the last couple days.
I've been putzing around the house, wasting my precious, publicly funded kid-free time, eating their Halloween candy, and calling my Mom to chat about nothing, when I have a shit ton of things to do.
I'm not even doing the things I LOVE to do, because I. Just. Don't. Want. To.
When I'm feeling like this....like a soggy human bathmat....my first response is to look for the "whys", which, for this week, are obvious:
- Hormones..perimenopausal PMS is brutal
- A beloved family member is going through a personal nightmare that's traumatizing for for our tribe.
- My last Self Centered Soul cohort ended a week ago, and the come-down from the high of those 2 amazing months working with my Soul Sisters is no joke.
In review, it obviously makes sense that I'm feeling grief, along with emotional, physical and mental fatigue, topped with a sprinkle of existential despair because, in addition to my own personal woes, it feels like the whole world has lost it's fucking mind.
It ALL makes sense.
But here's what DOESN'T make sense:
It makes ZERO sense to try to "get myself out" of these feelings.
It makes ZERO sense to try to "fix" what I'm experiencing right now.
It makes ZERO sense to THINK my FEELINGS away by manipulating the WHY's for my feelings, so that I can "solve the problem" of my feelings.
My feelings aren't a problem. They simply ARE. My sadness and grief are appropriate. The mild depression is the means by which I'm processing the experience.
This is my season for these feelings. And all seasons pass, even though our THOUGHTS would have us believe that if we allow the season of yucky feelings, we'll be stuck in that season forever.
Not true.
The trees in my yard right now aren't freaking out, thinking something's wrong with them, or getting all neurotic because their leaves are falling off; it's the SEASON!
A season is a moment within the PROCESS of a constant BECOMING.
And sister, WE are a constant BECOMING.
It's my experience that when we stop bypassing, discounting, down-playing, distracting, judging, "fixing" or manipulating our internal experience to be "positive" and "high vibe" come-hell-or-high-water, and instead practice being fully present to, and honoring of, whatever is coming up for us, 4 things happen:
- We act with authenticity instead of fake positivity, making us safer people to be around....haven't you ever noticed how unsafe it feels to be around fake people? Eww! You don't want to be that person.
- We learn that we're LEGIT capable of handling the hard stuff, and thus, we cultivate the self confidence that we've always wanted...obviously, there's no way to be confident without doing the stuff that scares you.
- Our self love is deepened, because we're no longer abandoning ourselves at the drop of a sad, unproductive, Halloween candy-eating hat.
- We become more compassionate human beings....which the world appears to be in short supply of at the moment, so it's all hands on deck, if you ask me.
When you FEEL your feelings, instead of THINKING about how to NOT feel your feelings...and when you TRUST your response to your feelings, even if it means taking a couple "mental health" days to sit on your couch in dirty pajamas, eating all the Halloween candy, you'll discover that the world actually WON'T fall apart if you show up for yourself, even if showing up for yourself isn't "productive".
Remember: even Jesus took 40 days off in the desert to deal with his shit.
If He did, so can you.
Cheering you on from my living room couch...in dirty pajamas...
Steph
P.S. If you want to learn how to use your feelings (yes even the "yucky" ones) to break old habits, change limiting beliefs and start showing up as the woman you always wanted to be when you grew up, then join us in Self Centered Soul!
Spend 8 weeks in live training and coaching calls, learning proven methods, tools and techniques from psychology, neurology, spirituality and personal development that will start changing your life from Day 1!
Apply asap for the January cohort; waitlist is now open with early bird pricing.
