Looks like: You get overly helpful and eager to please, saying “yes” too quickly, and sharing too much too soon, with people you hardly know. Conversely, you can turn into a “loner” when it comes to being around a group, judging others as “too much” or “not enough” of something, to give you an excuse for not socializing.

2. You struggle to identify your own needs after years of prioritizing others, leaving you confused and disconnected from your instincts.

Looks like: Knowing EXACTLY how much salt your kids like in their eggs, but when someone asks you what you like to do for fun, you draw a blank; you have NO IDEA.

Looks like: when your partner says “I don’t think think that was the best way to handle that” you either feel like a bad person & shut down, or get angry & lash out, desperate to prove you weren’t wrong

Looks like: you let your toxic sister-in-law suck an hour of your Life away with her negativity at every family event, because keeping your distance would be “rude”; after all, she’s “family”

Looks like: your best friend has a true soul connection with their partner, or has success after success at work. When you see this, you’re not jealous , you’re just sad because you think you’ll never get to have any of that.

Looks like: you can’t stand watching your friend date someone who’s not good enough for her (again) so you’re constantly sending her dating apps, social media reels that “prove” your point, even setting her up to meet someone “better”. When she snaps at you for pushing help on her that she didn’t ask for, you feel hurt & unappreciated. The more you’re helpful, the more you seem to push people away.

Looks like: making excuses for your partner’s rudeness, excusing a friend’s constant lack of reciprocity, and always saying yes, even when you’re maxed out. When you consider setting a boundary or saying no, you feel nauseous and think “Who do you think you are to want more?”

Looks like: you can’t sit still, even on vacation. You fill every moment with being productive, thinking rest is lazy and that you haven’t done enough to earn a break. At night, you’re exhausted and empty - you don’t feel like you actually accomplished anything important, even though you never stopped.

Looks like: When there’s a disagreement at work, you’re solution-oriented, never taking it personally. But with your relationships, disagreements feel like a judgment of YOU; like a little girl you’re desperate for assurance, afraid of being too much or not enough.

Looks like: When your friend messes up, you support & reassure. But when you make a mistake, you punish & judge; your inner voice says “How could you be so stupid?!” and you feel sick to your stomach replaying what you did wrong.

Looks like: You’ve checked all the boxes in Life: solid career & relationships, professional & personal successes. You’re grateful and you ARE happy...sort of. But somewhere deep inside, you feel a longing for something that you can’t quite put your finger on, and you don’t know where to begin finding it.

Looks like: You read the books, take the courses, and know that you need to set boundaries, believe in yourself, stick to your goals, etc. But once you make any progress, you start to procrastinate, make excuses, and fall back into old habits. You watch yourself do it, frustrated & confused, wondering why you keep getting in your own way.