2 Ways Your Period Can Make You More Powerful!
I’m embarrassed to admit that I didn’t know shit about my period until my early 40s.
Obviously, I knew that I HAD a monthly menstrual cycle that made wearing white pants inconvenient. And I knew that in the days leading up to my period, I was a carb-craving, emotionally unstable, hyper-sensitive, crampy, bloated raw bundle of nerves.
And of course, I had a basic understanding that my body operated in a 28 day cycle that involved all sorts of hormones that worked to construct, and then deconstruct, my womb for creating, growing and birthing a Life.
This smidge of knowledge was congealed from sex ed classes in the 80s, limited and painfully awkward conversations with my mother in middle school, a few Cosmo articles, conversations with girlfriends, and my own observations.
Everything I was “taught” about my cycle could be neatly wrapped up in one word: ENDURANCE.
My period was something I just had to “deal with” and “get through” for a week each month.
On the other end of the spectrum, when any discussion of menstruation turned celebratory, a la “Earth Goddess-y”, I just couldn’t…..It’s cool that my body preps to make a human every month, but I’d really just like to not ruin another pair of good panties, thank you very much.
For so long, when it came to being in relationship with my period, I always felt caught between a patriarchal rock, and a un-relatable hippy hard place.
None of this was ever REALLY an issue though, until I turned 40.
That hormonal shift was NO JOKE.
It was like my roommate of 25 years suddenly moved out without notice, and this new bitch moved in and acted like she owned the place.
Overnight, I felt like I was dealing with an entirely new body, and the knowledge I had was no longer relevant or useful. I HAD to “learn” my body and cycle at 40, and there was no more “just getting through it”
If you’re anything like me, you get past 40 and realize that simply “getting through” ANYTHING in Life is unacceptable. You can see, with almost terrifying clarity, just how precious and fleeting Life is, which makes you want to use everything IN your Life, to the advantage OF your Life, INCLUDING your period.
Life is too fucking short to not squeeze the wisdom and power out of EVERY experience, especially the challenging ones.
The more wisdom and power you have, the less bullshit you tolerate, and the more delight you enjoy.
Since turning 40 a few years ago, I’ve had to re-educate myself on the power of my period, and re-learn the language of body. I’ve discovered a fascinating and empowering reservoir of knowledge that’s played a huge role in my success as a Midlife Coach, a leader, a wife, a mother and friend.
But there are 2 specific opportunities for gaining wisdom and building personal power that our periods provide EVERY SINGLE MONTH….
HERE ARE 2 WAYS YOU CAN USE YOUR MONTHLY CYCLE TO BUILD A LIFETIME OF PERSONAL POWER:
- Choosing your thoughts when you’re a basket case
Your thoughts create your reality.
They do this by getting your body on board: you FEEL something in your body and your brain THINKS something about that feeling. That FEELING-THOUGHT combo is…an EMOTION. And your emotions drive your behaviors. But it was the THOUGHT that got the engine running.
This is the short version of it; I dive deep into this with my students in the Soul Centered Self program, but suffice it to say, your thoughts are POWERFUL things that you need to get a grip on if you’re going to create the experiences you want.
When you’re PMS-ing, and in the first day or so of your period, you’re borderline bat-shit crazy; EVERYTHING in your Life that was just fine a few days ago seems terminally hopeless and wrong. Your Inner Critic has a megaphone, and she’s delighted to point out how bloated and lacking in will-power you are, especially while you’re eating the kid’s leftovers standing over the kitchen sink. You hate your partner, your kids suck, and you entertain the vision of what Life would be like IF IT WAS ANYTHING BUT THIS, while you cry as you’re forced to watch Encanto for the 27th time.
This is GREAT material for up-leveling your personal power, and here’s how:
Assume that 99% of your negative thoughts during these few days aren’t founded in reality, and that anything that’s a legitimate issue will still be presenting in a few days when you’re out of crazy hormone town
For just these few crazy days, practice observing your thoughts, and categorize them as “helpful” or “unhelpful”.
Unhelpful thoughts are those which are negative, critical, judgmental, limiting, hopeless, and past or future- based.
Helpful thoughts are positive, gentle, encouraging, flexible, and based in the present.
Consciously choosing our thoughts is challenging, but practicing specifically at your “craziest” time actually makes it easier….
Think about it like this: If you were hosting a schizophrenic for 3-5 days, it’s likely they’d have all sorts of compelling things to tell you, but you’re unlikely to move the furniture around in your living room to make space for the monkeys and jet planes that they SWEAR are rolling through the front door, because you’re already operating on the reasonable assumption that what they’re telling you isn’t based in any reasonable reality.
Consciously choosing your thoughts is a easier when you can safely assume that your perception is temporarily off; it’s not YOU, it’s your hormones.
Use this opportunity each month so you can build the power muscle of CONSCIOUS CHOICE.
2. Putting YOURSELF first.
I know you do too much; so do I.
We come from a long tradition of women doing more than their “fair” share, making it ALL happen for everyone else, while usually getting to their own needs only when there’s time for it.
This never ends well for anyone.
Feeling chronically underserved is a legitimate STRESS, and when an animal is stressed….and a part of us IS animal…..they shift into a fight/flight/freeze/fawn response.
This response is GREAT for physical survival, but it’s TERRIBLE for healthy relationships, and if it occurs too often, for too long, it creates physical, mental and emotional disease.
The real issue is that we’ve habituated “running on empty”. Our culture actually glorifies it; a “successful woman” is always “soooo busy” doing, doing, doing.
This is patriarchal bullshit that masquerades as power; it’s not.
REAL POWER is being in tune with your own needs, and serving those needs AS THEY PRESENT, without waiting for permission, approval or “earning” it via the satisfaction of everyone else’s needs first.
A Queen has 1 job: to rule with wisdom, equanimity, fairness, kindness, perspective, patience and strength, so as to serve the Highest Good of those in her charge.
Now how the hell is She supposed to do her job if she’s exhausted herself handling every little issue of every single individual in her realm?
She can’t!
If She insists on running her Queendom this way, She’ll burn out, get sick, be cranky and uninspired, become too exhausted to be creative, forward-thinking and patient, and ultimately come to resent and lash out at the very people She’s meant to serve.
And She is YOU, my dear!
Every month, at the cue of our bodies, we get the chance to consciously practice putting ourselves FIRST. We are naturally more intuitively aware of our bodily needs before, and during, the first few days of our cycle, which makes acting on our needs easier.
Now, if we’re really honest, we can admit that a part of us is SCARED to put ourselves first, because the messages women have received about worth, lovability, and “goodness” being tied to what we do for others, has been loud and strong for centuries.
It’s embedded in our cells.
But this CAN be changed.
We CAN commit to using our cycle as a monthly practice of challenging those subtle fears, and re-teaching our nervous systems that serving our needs first won’t result in the end of the world; in fact, it will make our world, and everyone in it, breathe a little more easily.
You, your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, and yes, your PERIOD are sources of untapped power and midlife is the invitation to tap in.
Tap in, Sister
Love,
Steph
P.S. Tapping into, and living from, your Personal Power and Spiritual Self (same thing!) post 40, is a REAL THING. It's an ART, actually: 1 part undeniable calling and 1 part discipline.
If you FEEL THE CALL to live your Life's second half from authenticity, peace, power, and to-the-marrow-of-your-bones confidence, you CAN make a reset; all it takes is a new script, support, accountability and 8 short weeks.
Book a free consult with me to see if the Soul Centered Self group coaching program is right for you!
