I’ve been laid up all week, icing, sleeping, and nothing else. I temporarily can’t see for shit, and have limited energy, so I’ve been spending most of the week in bed, in silence…talking and listening to God.

 

“God people” used to bug me out; I deemed them intellectual weaklings…sheep drinking up the opiate of the masses. But secretly, I was jealous that they could trust in something so completely as to feel peace, cuz I couldn’t trust shit and peace gave me anxiety; I was habituated to fear, chaos and pain.

 

(On an aside, some “God people” ARE sheep (no pun intended) but that has nothing to do with their faith)

 

Point is, I was always too cynical, too scared, and actually too much of a sheep myself to admit that I yearned to surrender to, and merge with, something greater than my own thinking mind.

 

When I finally decided to give God a chance, I spent years “in the desert”.

 

Like most,