Tip #3 Emotions tell you what you need; always look for the need!

This is a BIG one…. 

Emotions are messengers….actually, let’s call them generous friends.

Your emotions tell you exactly what you need, providing the opportunity to meet that need, IF you know what you’re looking at. 

Let me give you an example:

When you experience the emotion of judgment, specifically you perceive that you’re being judged, the emotion (as well as the accompanying feeling) is telling you that your NEED to feel understood, accepted, etc is not being met.

Another example: when you experience anger, your need to feel respected, safe, and seen might not be getting met.

When you feel sad, you might have a need to be held, affirmed, nurtured that requires attention.

These are just examples, of course, that I take from my own experience; yours might...

As promised, here’s Power Tip #2 in this week’s edition of “If You Had Only Known…..”

Power Tip #2

Feelings are NOT emotions, and knowing the difference matters…

Feelings are the actual PHYSICAL sensations you experience in reaction to a real or perceived situation/event….

it’s what happens INSIDE YOU when you have a sensual experience** as well as when you have a mental thought.

(**Sensual, as in pertaining to your 5 physical senses…not the sexy kinda sensual:-)

You actually only have 3 feelings: attraction, aversion and neutrality, but the first two feelings are the focus of this convo. 

Attraction feels open, expansive, light and safe….it feels like a “yes, come closer, more please, interesting”

Aversion, as you can guess, feels contracted, narrow, tight….like a “no, stay back, go...

Gen X women are struggling in silence because they desperately want something that's hard to talk about.

It’s not a wanting for the typical stuff: the career, the money, the relationship, the family, the house, the things…that’s all been done.

This WANTING never seems to go away because it seems to be planted INSIDE, embedded too deep to be identified.

Now.....I'm going to make a bold statement:

This WANTING…….. is the desire to finally, intimately, undeniably, unconditionally KNOW, TRUST and LOVE ourselves AS WE TRULY ARE.

We want to know what it's like to live fully, successfully, and happily, without feeling like we have to try so hard all the time.

 We have a visceral sense that there’s more to us than we’ve been told, or have believed about ourselves.

We suspect there’s a truer version of “I” underneath the version that walks around the world, giving ourselves away…that version that:

• says one...

“What you said, about getting SMALL when having hard conversations with your partner….I DO that all the time!! It feels like I’m talking to my Dad! What IS that about?!”

My friend said this to me this morning, after seeing one of my posts on Instagram.

What I shared resonated with her COMPLETELY, and I know it probably resonates with you too, so lemme tell you what that whole “getting small” thing is all about……

But I’m going to warn you…it’s mind bending stuff that will disrupt the way you see yourself, which will change EVERYTHING, so I’ll take it slow, 5 little steps at a time:

1. You are NOT a singular Self; the latest data in consciousness studies and therapeutics, points to a “multiple self aspect” framework that posits that the “You” you think you are, is actually a collection of “yous” (not that I needed to read “the white pages” to know this...

There’s a surprising way that you might be abandoning yourself, and you probably don’t even know you’re doing it

It’s called emotional bypassing, and if you've got this habit, it's playing a significant part in why you feel stuck in "meh-ville" of dissatisfaction AND why you find yourself feeling powerless in getting your relationships to change!

Emotional bypassing occurs when we subconsciously switch an emotion we’re not comfortable experiencing, for another more “acceptable” emotion. 

Whether an emotion is “acceptable” or “unacceptable”  will depend on how you were programmed as a child.

For example, if you were criticized as a child for feeling sad, maybe made to feel silly for crying, or worse, threatened for your sadness (“I’ll give you something to cry about!”) You may have become afraid of your own sadness. 

To keep yourself...

Hey Sister!

I want to touch base on the whole “True Self” thing because I think it’s an important concept that’s misunderstood. 

Specifically,  I think that this misunderstanding is causing unnecessary  struggle and confusion for people who are committed to a path of self healing and personal development, and frankly that path is tough enough as it is. 

Anything that makes this process unnecessarily harder kinda pisses me off.

I’m obsessed with doing what I can to help others on their journey to end their suffering, doing what I can to make the process more efficient, clear and as easy on the nervous system as possible,  so on that note, let’s discuss….

But just one thing first: this is a skim of this topic; I spend 2 weeks training my clients on this concept, so if you want to dive deeper, you might consider getting on the waitlist for the January cohort of Soul Centered...